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Say Not Yet!  to Sex Teen FAQs

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Q: How can I talk with my parents about sex?

A: Set a good time and place with your parents when you cal talk without many distractions and don’t be afraid to ask questions like “Do you think teens should wait until they’re married to have sex?”

Use a TV show, movie, book or article as a starting point. Tell them what you think about what’s happening and ask what they think.

Talk in the car. Sometimes it’s easier to talk about sex if you don’t have to look right at your parents.

Be sure to listen respectfully, even if you don’t disagree with them. This could be a time to build trust in your relationship with them.

Q: How do you avoid pregnancy and STIs (sexually transmitted infections)?

A: The only 100% way to avoid pregnancy and STIs is to not engage in sexual activity. While abstinence costs nothing, it does require you to plan carefully, to set limits, and to clearly say no to sexual pressures.

For more information about how to avoid pregnancy and STIs (sexually transmitted infections), you may wish to talk to you parents, a school nurse or counselor, or another trusted adult.

Q: How do you get STIs?

A: Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are caused by viruses and bacteria. Again, the only guaranteed way to avoid STIs is to not engage in sexual activity. Some STIs have symptoms, but some don’t. So you can’t tell if someone has an STI just by looking at them. People can have STIs and pass them to others without even knowing. That’s why it’s important to get examined by a doctor if you’ve engaged in unprotected sexual activity or think you’ve been exposed to an STI. Keep in mind that most STIs are curable if a doctor treats them right away.

Q: Why should I wait to have sex?

A: If you engage in sexual activity with somebody before you’re both ready for it, a lot of problems and hurt feelings may result. For example, it may be against your values, like your personal or religious beliefs. Waiting to have sex means that you’re waiting until you’re prepared to deal with all the possible consequences of sex, including emotional changes, pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Q: How can I say no without hurting my partner’s feelings?

A: It’s important to set limits in a relationship before there is pressure to have sex. Think about how sexual activity will affect all parts of your life, including your future goals. Be assertive and confident when talking about your sexual limits. When you’re honest about your feelings and limits, you’re showing respect for yourself and taking care of yourself. Also, couples that talk about their sexual limits build respect for each other.

Q: What do I say when someone teases me about not having sex?

A: Surveys of teens your age show that many teens are choosing not to have sex. It’s okay to say that waiting to have sex is the best choice for you. In fact recognizing that you’re not ready to have sex is a sign of maturity. As you may already know, engaging in sexual activity too soon can get in the way of the things that are as important as your future goals, friendships, and school.

Q: How can you stay out of bad situations where I might be pressured to have sex?

A: As much as you can, plan ahead to avoid what could be potentially uncomfortable or high-pressure situations. For example, avoid drugs and alcohol so that you can make good decisions for yourself. You may choose to avoid being alone with your partner by staying in groups. In addition you may want to have a “buddy system” in place so that you and a trusted friend can check in with each other and help each other avoid those bad situations. Lastly you can also make sure that you have money to call for a ride home in case you want to leave.

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